THE UNOFFICIAL TWIN PEAKS DRINKING GAME

Rules:  Each player fills a mug with beer.  On a SIP command, one
drink is taken.  On a CHUG command, the glass is emptied NO
MATTER HOW MUCH IS IN IT.  After a CHUG command, the glasses are
refilled.

1.  SIP whenever Cooper starts talking to Dianne.
2.  CHUG if it actually has any relation to the case.
3.  SIP whenever somebody gives that stupid "bookhouse boy" salute.
4.  SIP whenever Cooper drinks coffee.
5.  CHUG if he says, "Damn good coffee...and hot!"
6.  SIP during any incoherent dream sequence or halucination.
7.  SIP during flashbacks to said dream sequence.
8.  SIP whenever someone makes reference to cocaine.
9.  CHUG whenever they actually show cocaine.
10. SIP whenever someone has sex  with someone who is not
        his/her wife/husband.
11. CHUG whenever someone has sex with someone who IS his/her
        wife/husband.  (You'll be doing this a lot less often
        than you probably think.)
12. SIP when somebody eats pie.
13. CHUG if it's cherry.
14. SIP when the Log Lady makes a stupid comment.
15. SIP whenever Leo Johnson does something to prove that
        he's a bigger asshole than you previously suspected.
16. SIP when Audrey Horne starts dancing (wow!).
17. CHUG if she comments on the music being, "too dreamy."
18. SIP if Cooper takes more than thirty seconds to order a meal.
19. SIP when Hawk makes some pseudo-profound comment.
20. CHUG when Andy makes some pseudo-profound comment. (It's
        not happened yet, but you never know.)
21. SIP if Andy starts to whine.
22. CHUG when Andy starts to cry.  (This is an optional rule,
        especially when watching the first episode.  The audience could
        become too intoxicated to finish watching the show otherwise.)
23. SIP whenever Jacoby does something to make you think he's
        sicker than any of his patients could possiby be.
24. SIP when we learn about a new lover Laura had.
25. SIP whenever Audrey makes a suggestive comment.
26. CHUG if it's not made to Cooper.
27. SIP whenever Cooper and Harry start to finger a new
        suspect.
28. CHUG when said suspect is bumped off later in the same episode.
29. SIP when somebody gets arrested.
30. SIP whenever some new vision character gives Cooper clues in an
    obscure, backhanded fashion.
31. CHUG whenever we find out what these clues mean.
32. CHUG when a new supernatural element (sure to cause readers of this
    newsgroup to fly off into bizarre speculation and innuendo) is
    introduced.
33. SIP when some new character that will surely be important later is
    talked about, but mysteriously never shown on screen.
34. SIP when somebody gets tied up.
35. SIP if somebody's life is threatened.
36. SIP when Donna does something Laura would do.
37. CHUG when she takes it too far.
38. SIP when Maddie freaks out in the Palmer's living room.
39. SIP when Leland freaks out anywhere.
40. SIP every time Nadine shows off and breaks something.
41. SIP if Jerry Horne starts ranting and raving about some unusual
    and/or exotic dish.
42. SIP when Andy gets beaten up by stray inanimate objects due to his
    own or someone else's clumsiness.
43. SIP whenever they show that damn stoplight.
44. CHUG if we ever find out why they keep showing that damn stoplight.
45. SIP when Ronette starts convulsing and/or babbling incoherently.
46. CHUG if Ronette ever regains consciousness and is able to talk
    normally.
47. SIP when we find out what the owls are.
48. CHUG if we find out that everybody has been lying and the owls
    actually are what they seem.
49. SIP when they start playing music that has very little to do with
    the scene they're playing it over.
50. DOUBLE CHUG if we ever find out who killed Laura.