Thought some of you might enjoy this. Wish I had posted it a little earlier, but better late than never. This was originally posted by 6600koga@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Jeffrey Koga) who credits an unnamed friend for sending a tape to him. I believe this originally appeared on radio in the LA area. 

"THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS", "^TWIN PEAKS^" STYLE 

Featuring (in order of appearance): Jack Nance (Pete Martell) Dana Ashbrook (Bobby Briggs) Frank Silva (BOB) Kyle MacLaughlin (FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper) Kimmy Robertson (Lucy Moran)

Lyrics:

Pete: "On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

Bobby: "On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plasic." 

BOB: "On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Cooper: "Diane, on the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

Lucy: "On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Five jelly donuts!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

BOB: "On the 6th day of Christmas..." Pete: "...my sweetheart gave to me: Six fish in a percolator." Lucy: "Five jelly donuts!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Bobby: "On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven one-armed men." Pete: "Six fish in a percolator." Lucy (or someone, in an operatic singing voice): "Five jelly donuts!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Cooper: "Diane, on the 8th day of Christmas, I had a strange dream: Eight dancing midgets." Bobby: "Seven one-armed men." Pete: "Six fish in a percolator." Lucy: "Five, uh! F-five jelly donuts! Sorry, oops!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

BOB: "On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: NINE OWLS LURKING!" Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets." Bobby: "Seven one-armed men." Pete: "Six fish in a percolator." Lucy (sounding really p.o.'ed): "FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Bobby: "On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Ten drooling Leos." BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!" Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets." Bobby: "Seven one-armed men." Pete: "Six fish in a percolator." Lucy (sounding really p.o.'ed): "FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Lucy: "On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eleven cherry pies." Bobby: "Ten drooling Leos." BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!" Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets." Bobby: "Seven one-armed men." Pete: "Six fish in a percolator." Lucy: "Five jelly donuts!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Pete (in a rousing voice): "On the 12th day of Christmas, my sweetheart gave to me: Twelve cups of coffee." Lucy: "Eleven cherry pies." Bobby: "Ten drooling Leos." BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!" Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets." Bobby: "Seven one-armed men." Pete: "Six fish in a percolator." Lucy: "Five dozen donuts. What?!" Cooper: "Four talking logs." BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS." Bobby: "Two secret diaries." Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Have a great Christmas, Hanakkah, Solstice, et cetera! -Rich Haller University of Oregon, Eugene, OR, USA